MY LAST 2007 WORDS,

As the golden compass movie comes out, adapted from the book(DARKNESS MATERIAL). It makes me happy that at least a couple of people will visualise and understand the thoughts of shifting into different worlds. The dreams of actually living in a parrallel universe, the thoughts, dreams, of the purplerodent. nahhhhhhhhh...

As this will be my last 2007 blog post. I really love it. Iam going into rehab for the holidays for 14 days, alittle scary. I have over the past few days, discovered alot about myself and my life. GOD the deity is real in my life. The secret is actually not a secret but a fact of life. Alot of us choose to ignore. I refuse to fall back into my depressing state, into my abyss of sadness. I will love myself, whats wrong with that. I want to live, i want to have kids, i want to be old. LIFE IS A JOURNEY. I want to be who i can be. I want to tell tales of joy and happy ever after. I want to go back to the floor, before i learnt how to walk. I want to draw, dream. I want to move on now. I want to set new goals, new heights, i want to get over my x n move on. I want to cultivate true friend ship. i want to LOVE. I want to be real, i want to be true.

I want to wish everyone who reads this bloga merry xmas and a happy new year peeps. I leave you with this quote:

1. Every blade of grass has an angel that bends over it and whispers, "Grow! Grow!" : The Talmud

2. You are here in order to enable the world to live more amply, with greater vision, with a fine spirit of hope of achievement. You are here to enrich the world and you impoverish yourself if you forget the errand. : Woodrow Wilson

3. Whenever you see darkness, there is extraordinary opportunity for the light to burn brighter. : Bono

4. If you have one eye on yesterday, and one eye on tomorrow, you're going to be cockeyed today.

5. The future lies before you, like paths of pure white snow. Be careful how you tread it, for every step will show.

6. am too blessed to be stressed! : Anonymous

7. If you are going through hell...keep going. : Winston Churchill

8. My mind is a garden. My thoughts are the seeds. My harvest will be either flower or weeds. :Mel Weldon

9. Every man is the architect of his own fortune. : Sallust

10. The grand essentials for happiness are: something to do, something to love and something to hope for. : Chalmers


Peace everybody and GOD the deity bless you. Purplerodent the mindhunter signing out...
comments yo! give me a good read next year.

AS THE YEAR COMES TO A CLOSE

As the year comes to a close i visualise and look back unto the past 11 months. Broke up with the love of my life, found another, being hospitalised 3 times, felt how crap intubation can be. wrote stories of sadness, death, life, freedom. Discovered new bands, forgot others, got into a state of depression, became suicidal, tried suicide. Felt how great life is. Did some good ads, did alot of shit ads. Made new friends, forgot others. Discovered true ones and ditched fake ones.

alcohol taste the same on all days, but sweetest on a weekday. Found out iam an alcholik. Have a shrink called catherine, and her mate old job watene. Still searching for the truth in life, religion feels like the wind. Philosospy is philosophy. Those you work with are just your work mates. Don't fuck a chick from the office. Women have become very upfront. Got to feel how it is to be seen as a piece of meat to be eaten. Discovered that as much as i wanted something else, all she wanted was sex. JUST TO FUCK ME. ha! felt weird even weird when it happened again and again. ( with different girls) the mind hunter is prey)

Why do i write? Because it feels great, i escape from the reality and build my own realm. I visualise other creatures, create other beings extend my thoughts of creation and imagination. I do not write what i write because iam evil, because iam a demon loving atheist. i write because i just love to write about that which runs in a realm of the unseen.

For the ones who hate me, loathe, me, FUCK YOU AND YOU MAMA. I DONT FUCKING CARE WHAT ANYBODY THINKS OR SAYS. ITS BEEN A FUCKED UP YEAR AND I AM REBORN.

what the fuck iam just bored

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME IN

PLease please let me in iam beging you..............

LOVE IN BONDAGE

etherial thoughts..

I CRY TOO....

In thy walk in the world, they ridicule me, abuse me, tease me.... reveal my weakness. I once came across a man with no eyes, one with no feet another with no arms.... all in unison they worked together.. in unison they helped each. It was amazing in the light of all they pushedon..... i can walk alone but love to walk amongst them...


From the very start i was alone, from the very start i was an outcast. . from them they chassed me from them i lost my wings.. from them i lost my will to live..... But iam now revelling in the songs of my spirit... in my own calm storm.i watch as i grow back into a creature far greater thaN they could imagein. the spirits saved me.. kept me.. taught me. To be special is a gift, to be different is not a sin. To crave the other, rather than the latter is not abomination. to BE OR NOT TO HEAL....

Today i leave the nest to hear and follow the sound s ringing in my ears,,,, i have heard them for years and they said soon.. i will have to look for them ].. i turn back for a last glance in hope... in hope of a call baack. Deeep in me though i want to follow my destiny.. the gates shut tehe water rises the only visual symbol of my keepsers .. my saviours .. The crows fly a wave they dissapear. In fog iam lost... in sound iam found. What where how. Wherre will i go waht wil i do.

FOLLOW MY HEART, MY SOUL, MY INSTINCT. FOLLOW THE SOUND

All i have is death thoughts of teh keeper, carry on are the thoughts of my progress.. my wings are getting bigger, the sounds lounder, the feeelings deeprer . the inrigues intense the feeelings are taking control now.. I do not fathom the thoughts of my transgressors for now i feel in the rythm of what is going on.. My body iss in pain. more painfull than their hate ,,, more tearfull than their whipps. more etherial than my keepers brush.........

someone is forming ,, something is growing,, iam evolving . i feel like iam getting out of my skin........ iam inn pain auuuuuuuuuuuugggggggghhhh..... BUT YET IT FEELS SO GOOOD.. I AM REBORN OR IAM DYING. TONIGHT UNDER THE WOMB OF FOG I DISCOVER MY PLIGHT. I TAKE NO FLIGHT. FOR MY ANSWERS,,,, MY DESTINY IS COMING TO A CLOSURE AND A BEGINING OF WHAT IAM WHAT I CAN BE HHEHEHEHHAHAHAHAHHA....


LET THE PAIN, TAKE CONTROL, LET THE PLEASURE FLOW, LET MY BLOOD DRIP. LET MY FLESH TEEAR. LET MY WINGS GROW. LET THE GODS SEE A CHILD CREATED BY THEM BURN IN TORTURE. ONLY TO BE REBORN THEY SAY. MY SAVIOUR AWAITS MY DESTINY IS NOT GONE BUT BEGINING. THE DEVIL, THE ANGEL, THE DEMONS, THE PRINCIPALITIES HEAR MY SHRIEK. LET MY ENEMIES KNOW IAM COMING TO THEM TO THEM IN THEIR DREAMS TO THEM IN THEIR WWAKE O DEATH THEY SHALL NOT RUN. THE STORM IS ABOUT TO BREW.... HAHAAHHHAAHHHAHHHHHHHAHHHHAHAHH IAM REBORN. IN SPIRIT FORM.. LIKE A DEMON IAM NOT, AN ANGEL IAM NOT. WINGS OF FIRE.. A BODY OF WITERED FLESH BREAKIN OUT OF DARKNESS THAT CANT SMOTHNER MY AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


IAM FREE

Daggoth had risen again and was nearlly done with his transformation into dashith... This time trouble wil follow his victims to their famiules to their friends.. His demon hold shall not be unchainned. The power of dashitH was in unison and aheadd of every exorcists, hunters reign hahahaha let the tales begin in hate, blood, entrails,,, stakes.... posssesion....DEATH



It was a night of fun and gallore at marthas house.. The party was all in full swing,... with guests dressed as ghosts, demons, devils, imps all the gholish eveil they knew.. Haha what a wonderfull place for evil rto reign and in its true form.. Halloween party hahahah... In africa as such it was awesome... Dashith was here mingling with the stupid, bblack, white, indian folks.. In their costumesand him in his truew form.. In thier drunken state all they could say was.... Greatt costtume DUDe,, really cool"

In his evil deep voice he would nod and answeer its not a coistume its me in my true self.... They would laugh out loud embracing evil in its natural form... Touching dashith leaving his scent on them ... his aours on their skin... on their souls... A way for them to be traced latter.. for to their ddooommmmmm...... they were headed....


Outside the porch out into the woods.... they crept, they moved.,,,, they sort to eat.. to dismember... to partake of souls and flesh, hearts and brains,... hands and legs... blood for the fill .. blooood for the flesh.. The souls is dashiths that they cannnot dare touch.. Dagrib they were called then and are still called. The followers of evil,... the vultures of the underworld.. the scavengers of the outrerr world... With any demons comes them,, with every principality cvomes more of them.. sobsobsob Martha and her freinds were so dead.... dead and lost sobsobsob hell shall partake tonight... in clear view of the fulll beautifull mooon. sobsobsob.... Damn what death.. what blood.. waaht screams.. whats cries shall rent this beautifull night................

To hell and back

In my walk of life, i expect trouble. In wake of the day i vision prosperity, happiness and love.

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could;
some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as
you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with
too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Nervous Breakdown

In my imagination, in my imancipation, i recoil back to the hole i came from. Iam in all view of them, they all look at me. wondering, laughing, critics, hores they are. Devils of falich, they are. Enemies of yakub, prophets of ballim.

I come in terror not peace. I come to devour, not give, i come to kill. NOT LET LIVE. i come to ambush, not warn. I come at night, sleep not by day. For the evil that over took yakuth at the altar of halinwai has risen in the souls of men. Spread out in all their lust cities, in all their debacharu=y, in all their muder. hahhaahahhhaha.....

She mothered me, taught me the ways, stated the rules. If any hahahaa. I was to be called kalith, the lost, tamsi the sweet. I leared to prey, hunt, feed, kill. Hurt, change, destroy. I was thee source. I was thee choosen one. If i was given any choice at it. LIfe gives us no choices. From birth to death its all writen down.

When he formed the earth, before it was fashioned. Your life was drawn is drawn, like a finished portrait, a written book. From birth to death. U change nothing for he is today tommorrow and forever. THe story of immortatilty........

IMMORTATILY AT LAST

The whole world sickened me, more & more consuming me like a savage terminal illness. Over the edge sanity and drawing a hot bath, I began a note. Telling the world of my demise...I signed my name & slipped into the hot water. Oddly it felt relaxing, making my morbid task seem somewhat easier. I retreived the blade from my departed husband's razor & made an incision. My tears flowed from my eyes, like the blood from my wrists, as I whimpered how much I missed my loved ones.

At the edge of death and lying in my dilluted blood, a shrouded dark figure appeared before me. Her long, thick, curly dark locks of hair spilled over her shoulders, much like that of a lion's mane. I thought her presence to be that of an angel, her face appeared so soothing & comforting. she told me she could help me, informing me that the choice was mine. Dillusions of death taunted me, and out of fear, I cried for her to save me.

My next reccollection of events was foggy, clouded somehow, for time seemed to have stood still. My eyes fluttered open, realizing I was in a mausoleum. The dim glow of a candle illuminated the cold marble room, casting shadows about. I gasped at each, thinking I saw them move, my vision seemed peculiar,but somehow more crisp & clear. I felt dizzy & there was a constant pulse beating in my ears. Then, out of the shadows, sathlim stepped forth. A pain like no other consumed me. I cried out as I felt my guts wrenching & twisting inside. The clearest memory was that of my tiny feet on the cold floor as I walked toward her, not knowing where I was going or why.
"What have you done to me?" I screamed. "This is a fate worse than death itself!" with a hint of desparation.
she sat at the edge of the bed, gently caressing my brow. I did not understand, but I could smell the blood within her wrist, as she touched me. I was being overwelmed by my senses. They seemed magnified 1,000 times. The trees were alive...I felt I saw everything around me, breathing. It was undescribable to mortals. She pricked hers wrist gently allowing some blood to surface. I lunged at it, then recoiled, for I felt completely confused. Why did I desire & crave the blood? I cried even more in confusion.
"Drink, child." she whispered softly.
And it was then that I began my descent into immortality.

Rebirth

In the decadense of filth, the score of hurt, the revenge of yogsothoth. Out of the abyss, back into teh realm of the living. The purple one returns..... From the white washed halls, of nakobi hosi, into the walk of cripple valley, the road of rovery. Teh journey continues, baut but the light at the end of the tunnel can, be seen................Praz ye of fath...................................

TOGETHER WE FLY, TOGETHER WE FALL, TOGETHER WE ALL SEE THE LORD WHEN HE CALLS.

TOGETHER WE FLY, TOGETHER WE FALL, TOGETHER WE ALL SEE THE DEVIL WHEN HE CALLS.

HAPPY NEW YEAR ...................